Now I'm Back

My last post is about before MIVG..damn, alot has happen since then....guess i gonna have to start somewhere haha


I realize 75% of my last post is about me having crush to this one girl which im gonna refer to as A and let me have a laugh first....hahahahahaha..actually how funny it is to read it back..thats the reason i dont delete old post you know, no matter how silly it is..its just funny how you look back and to see that THAT guy becoming you..


well, i cant say ive move on and becoming better version..hahaha..im still me, and yeah, thank God i dont have feelings for her anymore (now that shes single HAHAHAHAHA)..but for F sake, now i had this crush on my OTHER FRIEND.......really?? would you actually like any girl whos close to you?? goddamnit


but i dont want to talk about this..cause you know, feelings change..and you cant say its something permanent even if you mean it...but the reason im back to write this post is a lot of stuff had happened, and i just need to spill it out somewhere you now..hahaha


but first, gonna let you know since MIVG, my mom hasn't been in a good health..since shes having the spinal surgery(which should benefit us all) now that shes getting worse..im not saying the surgery was a failure, alhamdulillah the surgery was fine and even her surgery scar have healed..but the post-surgery situation is not very favorable.....


she keeps lying on her bed, complaining how painful it is..she keeps lying there, doing nothing...which later lead to loss of her appetite then loss her weight and shes keep getting sicker every single day...until one day...she was admitted to hospital due to hypercalcemia..sound okay right?? i thought so too...until i met her......she had dementia, confusion and hallucination...and to see her, your own mom, mumbling and speak nonsense just break my heart to pieces.....i cant imagine how my sister took care of her for more than one month..my respects goes all to her...


i will continue about my mom in different post..alot to say i guess..haha..but now the hot-hot issues going on is mostly about my friend...


i thought i have a crush on our friend was hot enough, but damnnnn they all keep surprising me you know haha..


first, my friend who had a crush on his friend for 5 FCKING YEARS just told me that he had given up..can you imagine? he been trying to get the girl for 5 FCKING YEARS mannnn..thats longer than any of my relationships..hahahaha...why?? because he said that the girl doesn't have feelings for him and keep telling him about her crush (like how i feel when A had crush on that boy i guess haha) i dont know what to say about him...well, you know when a girl doesnt like you, just move on dude..youre in medical course...soon gonna be a doctor..what girl doesnt buy that??


well the girls had their own issue too, one of them was sick...spinal injury..and she was really hurt like HURT you know..just no surgery needed, but a month of therapy at chiropractor..and what do you know, she was always with this A girl but out of the blue, A was so close to U girl that Y girl was feeling isolate(Y girl is the sick girl)..and i was like "what?" coz all of them look like so close to  each other and then this happen?? I have no clue on what to say on this one....lol


but wait a minute, thats not the hottest story i get....the hottest one is the one i just heard today, just few hours before to be honest.....my friend O, who had girlfriend since 2years ago that stays in Sabah and working as a teacher..but two days ago, they broke up.....why you asking?? because that girl has been MARRIED!!!! imagine your special one who you text every single day, for 2 years, even come all the way from shah alam to sabah just to meet her.........and then she text you told that they need to cut every ties because....shes married....WTF mannn...yesterday thegirl was his girlfriend now shes someone else wife?? F siht man...what the actual fuck....


i dont know about you, but for me right now, once the girl is someone wife thats like puffff...gone....shes someone's else like legitimately someone's......


few days from our semester exam and all this issues come out one by one....damn..how fuck up the exam can make us all?


oh yeah i forgot, last friday, i was hair thin close to fight P, like a real furious fist out of anger fight..considering it was our first time, it was honestly a little awkward after that..the reason? we were fighting about Y who hurt her back....silly right?? hahaha


anyway, to sum it all, my P friend had his heart broken by his 5years crush, the girls are having cold war, and O's girlfriend just cheat on him and married some other guy.....the end.....what a week it is.....


looking back to all of that, im just grateful that for me, everything is fine...like im good with it, just fine...yup...hahahaha


anyway, thats all for this post..i dont know if i should feel guilty for not studying or proud for updating my blog after so long..hahahah


~CIAO

One Day After Another

Assalamualaikum..how is it going? its Saturday, im alone in my room...well its 4 days holiday in shah alam anyway so everybody going back hometown..but not me??


well, tomorrow is a big day, remember the run?? The Medic Intervarsity Games, MIVG, takes place tomorrow..honestly i dont know what to expect..do i thought of winning? of course i do..its just a competition among medical students..but its not official, so the competition maybe, just MAYBE is not that high..but on second thought, it IS among medical student in malaysia..and why am i entering the only competition with the highest number of participant..lol


fyi, im in 100m track run..they got around 22 more participant from other university..what am i thinking?? hahaha..in the end i think i just gonna give it my all you know..yeah, the winning chances are small, really small..but excuses are for pussy right?? hahaha plus ive bought a tight that cost around rm50 last night..pricey i know..


who teach you about those excuses?? hahaha..yeah, i still think about her..how shouldn't i, we meet, text and change silly stories everyday..i know its kinda pathetic, but i need to give it a rest..you know, last friday, she met her 'friend' who she told me she had crush on..and she keep telling me that (maybe because her others girlfriend doesnt really like that guy) how they progressing..well, how should i say, i hurts me little bit inside to know all that even thought im the one insist to know it..there's is one time where she shows her text with him and i was laughing when deep inside i was FUCKING PISSED


yeah i know, thats jealousy speaking..and im not gonna be that guy who restrain the girl to do what she want just because i dont like it...its not she someone to me..when she doesnt had support from her girls, then she'll look for me..realize that?? im just her bestfriend for god sake..and she could look for another if she wants to...


i dont know why i keep thinking about this..i keep telling myself that she is just a friend and how blessed am i to have her..you know how my parents doesn't really like me having a girlfriend during my studies..well, shes perfect..shes not my girlfriend but we are more than just a friend..great right? I still keep my words with my parents, thats what important


i just get tired of thinking about it..she gonna have a boyfriend, and lets be honest, theres ton of other guy who is after her, if she's gonna pick one, you gonna have to be the last man on earth to be that guy..and stop having crush with your own friend hahaha..haaiiihhhh..thats it i guess..i just keep her as bestfriend..thats the best right?? its not like shes ever gonna date her classmates, you know it haha..love yourself man like how i love the one who is reading this...

P.s : writing this post while listening to Dont Wanna Know by Maroon 5 is just perfect😂


CIAO~

Really dude??

I know, i know..i disappear for a whole year, now im posting 2 posts in 2 days..what gives??

honestly, if you know me, this the place where i end up to express myself if i find myself in a shit hole. So, what happen to our L that makes him crawl back here??

First, when i reread my older post, i just realize that about 40% to 60% of it is about love..the fuck?? that is not what my 6years ago would imagine myself to be..messing myself up because of a woman? Now that is a really pathetic ways to live


If you are looking something to mess your head up with, then think about study(which i should be doing now by the time my exam is next 2 weeks) your financial management, your FUTURE self..there is a lot of thing to think rather than looking for a person..self improvement i would say cause i know you, when you with someone there is a little self improvement going on right


And also, if you keep thinking of the small shit going on, how would you focus on the real thing? Yes, i know your roommate is a bitch..then why would you gives a shit? stop thinking about it cause it not gonna change a thing unless theres an action you can do..but look, for now, you have nowhere to go and your family cant know about this so just live with it..JUST STOP GIVE A DAMN FUCK..live like nothing happens..i know sometimes you had to look for a time to study cause he always blast the music in the room, then go outsie in the living room..why are you being such a whiny bitch


theres always a solution to a problem..but if you dont want those changes, then learn how to adapt with it or dont give a fuck at all..get it? your problem is not a real problem..


Well, do i need it? yup, i need to remind my future self that you could stop giving excuses and start work on what matters..comprende??


good..now enough with conflicts of feelings..you got something big to do L

~CIAO~

First post of 2016

Ite been what? a year?? haha..trust me, its not like i was super busy its just i dont have that sparks that tell me to wite..haha..despite all that, this blog, boyz126, will always be my online diary..which is somehow have their own pro and cons..haha


My last post is about Little Temerloh Girl..god, how much i really want to delete that post..hahahaha..but im not..not for now maybe..well, if i am reading this,i think i know well enough why that post hit me harder than it should..am i still trying to get over her? maybe yes...maybe no...i dont know..now i feel like abit alone you know..still trying to get used to this single life haha

enough about my damn love life..writing suppose to make me feel the time..haha..and if you wonder what the hell am i talking about, i dont know if future me will remember this but if you want...

to feel time : write

to travel time : read

to escape time : music

to WASTE time : social media

See the capital letters?? keep that in mind😂

the time i writing this, i have only 2 weeks before my next progress test 2(the irony lol)..which i need to score..and when i mean by need to score, i really need to score because the past 2 exams we had i just at the border line of failing..C- is not great bro..even few people are saying that i should put more effort..and fyi for semester 1 exam, i dont game(maybe, just a lil) for a week..guess what, its not sufficient brah..maybe if you replace gaming with studying it would change alot hahaha

And also, on 11st of December, i am participating at the Medical Intervarsity Games, MIVG..its not a big fuss, just my first doing activities with other uni(what do you expect, Im on my first year). its not like we represent MSU because we better than the other students. MSU just not interested in those kind of thing which tell me why they haven't send any representative hahaha..so me and my friend are taking this opportunity to get into this thing with the name of our Uni..i just hope we dont lose miserably and bring our Uni name to rock bottom of shame pit. p.s: this friend im talking about...do i need to make a post about it?? hahaha

Guess thats all happening right now..Think its a lot? guess who put himself into all this..hahaha..joking, im not even busy(should i?) or i would not have the time to write here anyway. You still thinking of becoming a great man? Then push yourself a lil harder L

I really need to make a post to push myself in study...

~CIAO~

My Little Temerloh Girl

Assalamualaikum...

heyyo peeps..bangun2 je ttibe lak trpanggil tuk post kat blog lepas bangun dari tido kul 9 kat sini..haha

its been a year already (wow, its already a year?) since my last post so agak banyak la da trjadi..haha

so~ perkembangan trbaru ye..hrmmmmmmm


well, this year im already 20 (yeayyy) so..im officially a young adult..muehehehe

skang still july, so aku still asasi which akan habis (insyaAllah) awal bulan 9 and degreeeeeeeeeeee.....................

klo ade rezeki aku masuk lah dlam bulan 9 tu jugak kat msu, klo x..kene la tnggu tahun depan T.T

and then stakat ni aku x penah post pasal current gf kan?? haha..so maybe post kali ni aku nak start ngan bende menarik sikit la =P hahaha




well, aku kenal die dari palam lagi..and sebenarnye die classmate aku..hahaha~ typical

why typical?? bcoz at that time, aku ni class rep (mcam ketua darjah la) n die plak pnolong class rep..huahuahuahua


so mase tu..first time duk arsama, n aku rasa cam bebas sngat..aku trpanggil untuk mncari awek kat sane which aku da aim sejak sekolah..hahaha

reason aku cari kat sane sbb bile ko jumpe time matrik, ko belum tntu awek ko tu same course ngan ko..n aku mngharapkan aku jumpe la bakal2 cikgu yg pnyayang lagi brjasa di mase akan datang, aicewaa..hahaha


so, back to the story, aku jumpe die ni kat palam, so kitorang kenal2 la..and the mcam mne la die bole da ade bf lak time tu..pergh2


elok lak mase aku tau tu mmg dalam sesi kenal2 acah2 nak jadi la kire nye..tibe2 lak kne camtu aku bajet mcam da trtutup la masa depan gitu..hahaha..poyo la shial~


tpi lepas tu aku kire da okay la kot, as friend je..thnx to my labuan fren, fauzi, yg sempoi gile bab* hahaha


and nak dijadikan drama, aku gi ckap kat die..asal x cakap kan da ade bf, n die ckap la awak x penah tanye...n i was like "betul jugak ek"

pastu aku pn ckap la aku x nak kaco awek org, pastu die mcm sedih (aik?) sbb die da rse cam selesa ngan aku sbb die n bf die pn da start crack..like that la kire nye..hahaha


aku lak time tu mmg da attached gile ngan die mcm ade chemistry gitu2..haha..n aku pn teruskan la..as friend jela mule2...muehehehehe


nak dijadikan cite, x lame pastu bole plak die betul2 clash ngan bf die..hahaha, apebende kan..pastu aku cam, ok ade la gak sinar harapan...


tpi aku wat lek dlu ar, takkan nak trus couple lpas die baru clash kan..kite lek2 dlu tnggu die reda abis nak move on camtu..hahaha


brape bulan pastu aku pn cam da mesra ngan die n aku pn ajak la die couple..with a song a teddy bear (omg romantic nye aku *blushing) aku confess yg aku suke kat die n ajak nk jadikan die gf aku..tpi through the phone je ar..hahaha..gile ko, klo depan2 tu mau ttibe jari aku patah mein gitar..hahaha



so nak dijadikan citer, smpai arini da dekat 2 tahun 10 bulan relay kitorang sejak dari palam..pergh2..2 tahun wei, klo ade anak tu da bole jalan agaknye (ckap aku xtau ar start umur bape..haha)


note to self : dude, klo ko betul nak relay yg elok smpai ke jejak pelamin, berubah la mangkuk..n ko tau ape aku ckap..ko bukan budak kecik xtau mane salah betul..


agak simple? yup sbb aku juz random pick topic ni n aku mcam xde point sngat (mcam exam gitu) hahaha


so..until next time folks~

CIAO~~

Third post??!!

Assalamualaikum,

howdy OcVemBer...(its already the end of October and we are getting to November..so........you get my joke right?? plz??)


I can't believe its almost the end of 2014 and this blog just post its third post for this year??!! Not so shocking...

yup reason is bile da start student life aku mmg malas gilo nak update blog ni..why?? bcoz life as student have so much to discover ><


B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T  *eeoookkkk

mainly bcoz aku malas...plus banyak keje anddddd hasutan syaitan bergabung hawa nafsu yg suruh aku membuang masa...the end....


so....aku nak post something leisure...my life in MSU


first, bile aku smpai sane, im totally depressed....everything not right..the toilets dirty, students attitude and accommodations..bak kata sume bende la aku complaint


smpai parent aku pn pujuk, strive at MSU at get the hell out of there....and i was.....ok.......(feelingless)


i don't know...i just feel i don't belong there...i  should be somewhere else attending seminar on degrees of medical but where am i??? reapeating the same old shit i've been doing for a year.....


its feel like i waste my time man..a year..banyak tuuuuu


but then......time past away and so do my depression...


i try to get along, and what do you know, i got some friends from palam too....andddd the best part is one of them is my lecture mate..keciknye dunia~


plus, ade jugak budak pasum (surprisingly) mesir and engineering students?? but here we are...a bunch of repeaters.....


well, its good to know that u are not alone especially when you had to repeat the same thing that everybody done and pass....

but hey, im not getting into that mood ok? cause now im feeling lucky that im here....even as repeaters.....


U wanna know why? IM FEELING LUCKY COZ I GOT THE SECOND CHANCEEEEEE


u know how big that is?? (not the size of the letter) it totally biiggg.....

ok cube pujuk diri sebenarnye..hahaha


in palam, most of friend were student who score 5A and above in spm (its a big deal)....most of them (all maybe?) have set their goal to be a doctor..weird but that what it is.....plus, baru kelas aku, the other class lagi...can u imagine how many actually people want to be an effing doctor??



but in the end...palam is not easy as it seems.......most of them dont fulfill their dreams....they just go where the flows taking them........but me??


yup..some of them get what they always work for.....some, not all, not even half....its sad but this is the reality world, not some inspiring box office movies....


and I'm one of that people who 'should' go where the flows taking me but wait.....am I??


Heck no...thnx for my family background....i got my second (and last!) chance to make things right again....


so...how do i feel now?? damn lucky dudeeee

Alhamdullilah....yes i made mistake for playing too much but this time...insyaAllah i won't screw it this time....


yup....that's my MSU story (part 1??)

lets pray it will be a bright path which I'm taking..insyaAllah ^^



see you soon brothers and sisters...
 CAO~

The reality is not beautiful as it seems...

Hello (the end of) July!

owh..but firstly, assalamualaikum to my muslim brothers and sisters....

lets take a moment of silence and recite al-fatihah for our brothers and sisters who will always be in our memory, to GAZA and MH17.........

aku tak terpikir lagi nak buat post pasal diorang..maybe tak, bcoz isu sensitif kan and aku tak nak la bagi info salah lak tak pasal2..jatuh fitnah nnti, dosa die lagi dsyat dari membunuh tuuuuuu



so, the reality........hrmmmm...is the world we are livng now and.........i am actually depressed =.='

bcoz u know, aku rase ade hikmah gak aku fail foundation palam....sounds weird?? so do i......


since bangku sekolah rendah lagi, aku x pernah lagi kecewa kan parents aku ( aicewaaaa..belagak seh mamat ni.....)

NO..citer die bile aku selalu buat diorang bangga (xde la selalu) aku tak pernah tau apa reaksi diorang klo aku disappoint kan diorang.....so.....thats what PALAM life told me.....


without good grades, it feels like i am actually nothing to them..diorang buat aku mcam saham, where you invest and hoping to get more...

ok, parents mane xnak anak berjaya kan?? but on the matter of facts, aku dah dpat course pharmacist kot?? THAt IS AIN'T HALF BAD tau tak......


but still......diorang force aku repeat, so aku bole jadi doktor....

it must be proud when you tell others that your child is a doctor right?? even parents aku pun klo jumpe org luar mesti ketengahkan kkak aku yg doktor tu.......really??

i can;t imagine if i was stupid and nothing to them..would they actually appreciate me?? would they still recognize me as family?? who knows......




hrmmm...air dicincang pun tak akan putus kan.....

well...it all goes after this......my second foundation life in MSU....

P.S :seriously aku baca dari past student....this place is like a sinkhole for your money....i cant imagine hows life there *deprssed

boleh kate kan my life at home is really depressing after palam...

everything doesn't go the way they should man.....it feels like the life is beating you down really bad.....


haih....i don't know what gonna happened after this, I give up on planning...wherever the path took me, thats the only direction i'll walk.....


I'm giving up??? maybe.......maybe not....well, aku tau aku ni takde lah sebaik mane, tapi insyaAllah, bertawakal jela pada keputusan Allah

feels better??? damn better......haha


just dont overthink about something that you can't change folks....

and if there is something you are capable to change....work for it...and leave the rest to the Al Mighty,,,,


I'm not giving up....if this is my path....i'll walk until the end no matter what....


Assalamualaikum....CIAO~